Season 1 ep 6: Let's talk about Trauma
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[00:00:00] Hello and welcome back to Baseline and Boundaries, A Mindset Revolution with Dr. Tamika Scott. I am your host, Dr. Tamika Scott. In today's episode, it's gonna require us to sit with something when I think is kind of tender. Um, that is something so many of us are carrying it.
And rarely are we unpacking it unless we're in therapy. That's trauma. Y'all. Now, as an educated, trained therapist, naturally I'm gonna talk about it. So why not do it in a pack in a podcast episode, we're gonna dive into it, but not in a way that you might be expecting because although I'm educated and trained in therapy, I am not a licensed therapist.
So by no means whatsoever. Am I functioning as a licensed practicing [00:01:00] therapist? Just one that's educated in therapy. All right, so today I want us to talk a little bit more about the perception, the grace, and what it means to not label someone else's experiences with our language. Let's dive in.
All right, , , so yesterday morning I was driving and I was listening to a radio interview. Uh, the guest was sharing parts of his story, offering deep vulnerable moments. He paused between thoughts and one of the interviewers jumped in and said, oh, wow, that was traumatic. And the guests.
Replied gently but firmly. Actually, for me it wasn't, but I can understand how someone else might feel that way. Man, completely forgot what he was talking about and took that moment in [00:02:00] as that is so amazing how he reframed it. That moment officially stopped me. It made me reflect on how often. We expose our own definitions of pain, struggle, or just life unto others, and how dangerous, even if well intended, that can actually be,
because trauma is not a one size fits all. What feels overwhelming or violating to one person may feel manageable or even forgivable. To another, and both experiences become valuable and both experiences are valid.
I think sometimes, especially those of us who are navigating spaces where our presence is under a microscope, we often downplay what we've gone through or [00:03:00] we feel pressured to name things as trauma. Even when we're still processing what they actually mean to us. See, there's power in naming, but there's also power in choosing not to name something until you're ready.
That's a part of emotional intelligence I think. I believe so. I wanna trust it is, I'm quite sure it is.
See, I remember a time when I was sharing a workplace story, something that I thought was just a rough patch, and someone stopped me and said, girl, that was trauma. And I had paused and I hadn't considered it that way. You see, at that moment, that was a thought that taught me something. We don't always have the language for what we've been through, but we also don't need to borrow someone else's language [00:04:00] before we're ready.
See, this ideal around a growth mindset doesn't mean forcing a definition on our experience. It means allowing space for reflection, grace, and personal truth.
This brings me to the expectation. Now, sometimes others expect us to be angry to hurt or broken when we're actually numb or calm or simply focused on surviving. And sometimes we do that to others too. You know, assuming we know how they should feel and what it should look like. That's why I always encourage my clients, folks around me.
To ask themselves questions first, a question like, whose expectations am I trying to carry out right now? Okay. Am I giving myself permission to feel what I feel without [00:05:00] judgment?
It is important that we show up with these emotional boundaries. It allows us to hold meaning. To our own timeline for healing, for clarity, and for closure.
Now, finally, a part that I wanna talk about is the grace that sits in that. Now, this episode isn't about avoiding hard truths. It's not about misnaming misspeaking, it's about giving ourselves and others the room to define. To name, to make meaning of their experiences on their own terms. And if someone shares their story, our role is not to finish the sentence for them, it's to hold space.
It is how we show up for each other with empathy and strength. [00:06:00] So today I wanna leave you with this. Let's stop rushing to label and let's start listening more deeply. Let's give ourself permission to not have the perfect word, and let's show up with compassion, starting with ourselves,
because here's the truth. Would I label it today? I could actually change the label tomorrow, and that's okay as long as I share what the new label is and the definition is for those around me to be able to effectively support me. I, I hope that makes sense. Now, if this episode spoke to you, I want you to share it with someone you trust not to explain their story.
Or to give them a hint of this is what you're experiencing, but to open up a space for deeper conversations if they [00:07:00] need to present themselves. Until next time, I will see you on the next episode of Baseline and Boundaries. And remember, your boundaries are not barriers. They're your baseline. And that's okay because we are here to.
See it differently so that we can do it differently by the end of the season, you'll be saying that with me, so next time. See you soon.
